Acceleration Blu-ray Review

THE MOVIE — 1.25/5

Plot Synopsis: Vladik Zorich (DOLPH LUNDGREN), a villainous crime lord, is double-crossed by his most trusted operative, Rhona (NATALIE BURN). Vladik’s propensity for power, control and violence drive him to kidnap Rhona’s son, forcing her to participate in a twisted plan to eliminate Vladik’s enemies. To keep her on a short leash, Vladik sets out the “rules” to his “game” and overseas Rhona’s every move as she navigates the darkened streets of Los Angeles. As her son’s life hangs in the balance, Rhona struggles to eliminate the most violent and depraved delinquents.

Review: At this point I’m not sure why I should be surprised anymore. Acceleration is one of numerous films of this ilk that get an unceremonious direct-to-video treatment and although I didn’t expect good things, I thought at least it would be bad but passably entertaining. Instead, this is a film that could’ve been one of those freebies you can watch as part of your Amazon Prime membership, so poorly made that I have to wonder why even Dolph Lundgren would agree to appear in this, but at the same time, he was also in the dreadful (and dreadfully titled) Hard Night Falling.

I honestly can’t think of one genuinely good thing outside of maybe a competently choreographed fight scene towards the middle of the film, however even then you can see some punches and kicks not quite landing (or awkwardly angled to cover it up). Beyond the bad fight scenes and CGI’d muzzle flashes (utterly horrible), the acting isn’t anything special beyond Sean Patrick Flannery who at least does chew the sceneary quite raw and could be considered delightfully hilarious.

At the same time, Natalie Burn… doesn’t exactly have action heroine qualities and she has appeared in plenty of terrible films including In the Name of the King: Two Worlds (starring Lundgren), The Expendables 3 (also with Lundgren) and the recently released DTV action-crap, Hard Night Falling (starring, yes, Lundgren). Do I think she was terrible? Not necessarily as the dialogue was stilted and the plot was, at best, messy and disjointed thanks to some poor editing (should be noted, Burn was the producer). Maybe with better material she could succeed (like model Sasha Luss in Anna), however her chances are likely limited and wouldn’t be surprised to see one of her movies come in the mail one day.

The film was directed by a duo in Michael Merino & Daniel Zirilli with Merino being the sole writer and directed a couple no-name thrillers (one “starring” Joe Estevez) while Zirilli has had several movies under his belt as producer and director on a few other direct-to-video films including End of a Gun with Steven Seagal (awful film in its own right) and The Package with Dolph Lundgren (probably how he got roped into this). Neither have a special style to their direction other than applying some poor looking scene change effects.

In the end, Acceleration is not a movie that had very much potential even if it were in the hands of more competent filmmakers as it heavily borrows from other crime-thrillers in the past. But as I said, at the very least Flanery gave a “I don’t give two f***s” over-the-top performance and Natalie Burn was easy on the eyes and I can maybe being a bad ass heroine with better material.

SPECIAL FEATURES – 0/5

This release comes with a matted slip cover and… nothing else, not even a chapter selection.

VIDEO – 4.0/5

AUDIO – 3.0/5

OVERALL – 1.0/5

Acceleration is the very type of terrible movie that Amazon Prime members could watch for free and I’m pretty sure that could be where this one is headed in few months time. There’s not a whole lot here to praise, although Sean Patrick Flannery at least was fun in his over-the-top performance and Natalie Burn, superficial I know, is beautiful and maybe has the physicality to be an action heroine under the right circumstances… this was not one of them, however.