I’m unsure exactly why anyone would want to buy Anaconda on Blu-ray, especially this being a double dip for Mill Creek, unless you fall into the category of finding this to be some sort of classic so bad its good kind of flick.
Anaconda
(1997)
Genre(s): Horror, Thriller
Mill Creek | PG13 – 89 min. – $14.98 | May 14, 2019
Date Published: 06/01/2019 | Author: The Movieman
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Mill Creek provided me with a free copy of the Blu-ray I reviewed in this Blog Post.
The opinions I share are my own.
THE MOVIE — 1.5/5 |
| Note: This was copied over from my 2009 review.
There’s cheesy bad but fun entertainment and then there’s just plain old cheesy bad movies period. Anaconda is in the latter category. I had seen the movie years ago and it’s even worse than I remember… The “story” finds a documentary crew traveling through the Amazon in search of a lost tribe. You have the director Terri Flores (JENNIFER LOPEZ), cameraman Danny Rich (ICE CUBE), Professor Dr. Steven Cole (ERIC STOLTZ), the journey’s host Warren Westridge (JONATHAN HYDE), soundman and woman (OWEN WILSON, KARI WUHRE) and their boat driver, Mateo (VINCENT CASTELLANOS). Early in their exploration they come upon Sarone (Jon Voight), a poacher shipwrecked off the side of the river. He asks for a lift to the next village and despite his creepy demeanor, they oblige. But when rope gets entangled in the propellers and the professor (?!?) goes down to dislodge it, he gets stung by a nasty bug. Thanks to Sarone, he is stabilized but they must get him medical treatment.
Since they are deep in the jungle and Sarone knows the land like the back of his hand, he offers a shortcut to get back home. Of course, the man with the hilariously awful squinty eye has other plans. He takes them off course where they come upon a dam built to keep something in rather than help water levels. Even though the ship’s crew isn’t too trusting of Sarone, they go along with his plan to use C4 (which he had carried on board, no alarms there) and blow the dam to smithereens and causing more damage to the already creaky ship. Well, as you can imagine this “something” are actually snakes and one big ass snake that Sarone has been trying to capture as it (alive) would command buko bucks. Soon enough the giant anaconda is out for revenge going after anyone in its sights, even the delectable Jennifer Lopez! I realize one can look at a movie like Anaconda as just a B-movie horror film with its awful screenplay/story, questionable performances (save for one, more on that later) and truly laughable visual effects. Of course that last one can be chalked up to 1996-97 technology when CGI was probably prohibit-ably expensive. I’m not going to drone on and on about the nuisances of each actor’s performance, or lack thereof, only to mention one of the most bizarre performances I’ve seen in a long while by none other than Jon Vought. First, he uses this odd accent followed by a creepy (and not in the intended way) eye droop which goes in and out seemingly whenever Voight pleases. Perhaps his portrayal as the movie’s human villain was showing us that he (Voight) was the only one who knew what a pile of crap this really was while the rest of the cast and crew, including director Luis Llosa (The Specialist, Sniper) thought they were making something truly terrifying.
Unfortunately little of Anaconda really worked. It wasn’t bad it’s funny nor was it very scary. The part mid-90s CGI/rubber snake did not at all frighten me, yes even when this massive anaconda somehow breaks through a wood floor and chases a man down up a pole. I guess if you want to watch Jon Vought once again ham up the screen as he’s been prone to do throughout his career, then take a gander at Anaconda, otherwise leave it sit on the story shelves. |
SPECIAL FEATURES – 0/5 |
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No features were included, there’s not even a main menu. |
VIDEO – 3.25/5 |
| Mill Creek releases Anaconda onto Blu-ray where it’s presented in its original 2.40 widescreen aspect ratio and has been given a 1080p transfer. This isn’t exactly an impressive video or anything, in fact it looks like some DNR was used in some scenes while others, especially in the dark, show off some noise while detail is merely okay. |
AUDIO – 3.0/5 |
| This release only comes with a Dolby Digital Stereo track, probably the same track from Mill Creek’s release, shame they couldn’t get the TrueHD track from Sony’s original Blu-ray. As it is, the track is fine but lackluster for a movie with so much action. |
OVERALL – 1.5/5 |
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I’m unsure exactly why anyone would want to buy Anaconda on Blu-ray, especially this being a double dip for Mill Creek, unless you fall into the category of finding this to be some sort of classic so bad its good kind of flick. I’m not on that side because I did have a hard time getting through it all. |
Check out some more 1080p screen caps by going to page 2. Please note, these do contain spoilers.